wow;its been forever since ive blogged. so i guess theres a few things i should say. the past few weeks, has been the toughest time of my life. for one year, i was in love with a boy named devon michael crispell. he was the most absolute amazing boy i had ever met. i could tell him anything, open myself up to him, and he knew every little bit of me inside and out. but things started to go wrong. after months passed, we started to fight like a drunk father and a beat up kid. it was horrible. but for some reason, everything related back to me. i guess you could say i was the cause of most of what happened. not all;but most. see, for a couple years, i had the biggest crush on him. i was like, addicted to him. and i was falling for him fast. but i was rejected three times. so the fouth, he gave me shot. or as he said: he dated me because he felt bad for me. for the longest time, i was so caught up in the future, and thinking about what i was hoping would happen, that i didnt realize what was going on now. and what was happening in the present. it was like, nothing mattered, i just wanted it to be the future. but it wasnt until a couple days after we broke up, that i realized this. i spent over a year with the man i had always dreamed of spending my whole life with, and i completely screwed everything up. i thought we would be together for eternety, but;i guess i was wrong. from my mistakes, and my thoughts;i screwed everything up, and ive learned from every mistake ive made. im not perfect, and never will be, but from here on out, devon michael crispell will always be my best fwenddd, and i love him just like a brother. i will always be there for that boy, no matter what, and i hope he'll always be there for me.
ive also learned, that you have to move on. sure, its not easy. but dont hold on forever. because chances are your just waisting your time, when you can be just as happy, or even more being someones best friend, rather than their boyfriend or girlfriend, and have the best times just being friends.
i love you devon michael crispell. you are me best fwenddd. foreverandalways.(:
